Accidentally in Love With…A God?(3)

By: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

That’s when it hit me. The tsunami of guilt.

I stopped and looked down at Jake, the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in real life.

“Everything okay?” he asked, obviously wondering why I hadn’t taken my seat.

Jake’s online profile said he was looking for someone special. Someone to settle down with. That someone wasn’t me. How could it be? I was…complicated. My heart was trapped in some sort of bizarre purgatory, attached to a voice. Or, more accurately stated, attached to the endless images and fantasies my mind had conjured up to go with the stupid voice.

I couldn’t go on with the date. There was simply no point. I had to get rid of Guy or there would be no normal. No boyfriends. No husband. No wild monkey sex.

I hiccuped twice, making Jake jump in his seat.

He stifled a smile. “Oh, here. Try drinking some water.”

I smoothed down the front of my dress, barely holding onto my tattered self-esteem. “I’m sorry, Jake, but you don’t want me. I’ve got so much baggage even JFK couldn’t handle it. But it was nice meeting you, and I hope you find that special someone.”

Jake stared blankly and then nodded slowly.

I bolted outside onto the bustling street filled with people enjoying their Friday night, living their lives while I continued hiccuping uncontrollably.

“Emma, I’m glad you came to your senses. All this bickering is tiresome, especially when you know I’m right. That male was despicable. Why do you even bother to challenge me?”

That’s when the doors flew off.

“You horrible! Egotistical! Caveman! I’m done! Do you hear me? Done! You. Have. Got to leave!”

Several couples scurried passed me. Although I was pretending to be talking to someone on my headset, I still looked like a detonating atom bomb in a green dress, mushrooming with toxic radiation.

“I’m not going anywhere, Emma. Besides, what would you do without me?”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Why the hell not? If it weren’t for me, some sleaze ball would be using you for his sexual pleasure at this very moment. Is that what you truly want?”

“Yes! Wait. No…” I sighed. “Don’t you get it?” I need to move on. I need a normal life. I can’t keep obsessing over you, I wanted to add. I thanked my lucky stars Guy could not read my thoughts.

“Once again, you ask this ridiculous question. The answer is no! I do not ‘get it.’ I do not ‘get’ your determination to throw yourself into situations that will only cause trouble. And as long as I exist, I have vowed to protect you...even if it’s from yourself.”

“Protect me? Protect me?” That was always his fallback line, but he never could explain why that was even necessary. What the hell did I need protection from? “You’re not protecting me; you’re hurting me. And if you’re not going to tell me why, there’s nothing left to talk about.”

“I’ve still got plenty to say, little girl.”

“No! This is over! Do you hear me? I’m ending this.” I stepped off the curb into the crosswalk, continuing to stomp my way home, determined to find the answer to my million dollar question: How? How, dammit, would I get rid of him? I’d researched exorcists, psychotherapy drugs to block him from my mind, shock treatment, but nothing gave me hope of extracting him without exposing myself and being locked away in a white padded room. Just then, from the corner of my eye, I saw a set of lights barreling down on me. I felt my body fly through the air before everything went dark.

Chapter TWO

“Guy? What happened? Where am I?” I said aloud. I spun several times, looking up, down, in every direction. I was perched on a large balcony jutting from the face of a decadent three-story villa carved into a lush green hillside. Like a fortress, I thought. I feel safe here.

“Emma, honey? Can you hear me?” a familiar female voice called from beyond the rolling hills.

My head snapped up, canvassing the terrain. I saw nothing but miles of neatly groomed vines heavy with burgundy grapes and almost as beautiful as the red and pink bougainvillea bowing over the towering arched windows to my sides. Every inch of the place was breathtaking. But where was I? Heaven. Yes, must be heaven.

“Emma, please, baby. Come back.” The voice carried on the wind. It was my mother, I finally realized, but I didn’t want to leave.

Just then, a low hum tumbled down the hills like an invisible avalanche and began sifting into the air around me, vibrating like a swarm of angry bees. The noise roared inside my head.

I cupped my ears and doubled over, but the sound only amplified. My skull quaked with pain as the buzzing burrowed deep inside and settled in my bones, causing me to collapse into a quivering heap. I could have stayed like that for minutes, hours, or days. Who knows. But when that luscious voice came crashing through the layers of crippling noise, I clung to it like a life raft. It was a voice so soothing, so deep and hypnotic that every cell in my body fluttered with euphoria.

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