Taming Damian(9)

By: Jessica Wood

I laughed triumphantly as I turned on the shower and jumped in.

As the hot water washed down my body, I sighed and started to relax. I hadn’t realized until now how tense and tired my muscles had been this week.

I started thinking about everything that had happened since I’d seen that text message from Chris. I had been livid when I went into the bathroom to confront Alexis. But when I had seen her talking to herself, I had overheard her say that she was going to tell me something. I knew it was only a matter of time that she’d tell me. A part of me wanted to give her that opportunity to fess up. But until she did, I was going to have my way with her however I wanted. That was going to be her punishment. I wasn’t going to make love to her anymore. I was going to fuck her like the whore she was. I was going to make her feel like one of my many hundreds of girls from my little black book. I was going to fuck her and leave her when I was through with her. Maybe that’d make her feel useless and foolish. And maybe that’d lessen the pain in my chest if she felt some of the pain I was feeling.

So that night at the wedding, I had angry fucked her several times as I’d tried to vent my rage out on her without her knowing it. First, I fucked her in the bathroom stall with two girls just a few feet away. Then I fucked her up the ass in the lit-up pool at the hotel. After that, I came all over her face on the stairwell leading up to our hotel suite. Finally I fucked her on the balcony in our suite and made her scream out my name for the other guests to hear.

I continued this for the first half of our trip, fucking her like she was some object I didn’t care about. I knew she felt that something was off about my behavior, but she didn’t say a word. I had a feeling she secretly enjoyed the dangerous, aggressive side to me.

When we arrived in Rome on the fourth day of our trip, I was worn down and the pain in my chest did not seem to have lessened. Instead, it seemed to have gotten worse. The more pain I felt, the more pain I wanted to inflict on Alexis.

But then something happened.

We were strolling up the Aventine hill, one of Rome’s famous seven hills. There was a spot on the hill where a plain-looking green metal door stood. And on this old metal door, there was an unassuming keyhole. I hadn’t even noticed the keyhole until our tour guide pointed it out and told us to look through it. I looked first and what I saw took my breath away. Through this seemingly normal keyhole was a spectacular view of Rome with the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican perfectly framed in the center. What was awe-inspiring about this sight was that this secret keyhole captured three countries in one glance: Italy, the territory of Malta, and the Vatican City State.

When the tour guide explained this fact to us, Alexis squealed in delight and looked through the keyhole. I watched as she gasped in awe at what lay before her inside that keyhole, and something about her reaction brought a smile to my face. It was probably my first genuine smile since I had seen that text.

As we walked away from that keyhole, she grabbed my hand and smiled at me with that warm, heart-stopping smile of hers that always made my stomach flip. I realized then that she had smiled at me numerous times during the trip before that point, but this was the first time I’d allowed myself to notice. It was the first time it had hit me like a ton of bricks and caused my hatred for her to immediately waver and crumble. In this smile, I saw the sheer happiness on her face and knew that I was the one who’d caused her to look so radiant. I wasn’t sure what it had been about that smile—about this woman—but at that moment, I knew she was my ultimate weakness. When I was around her, I found it hard to think rationally. I found it hard to stay mad at her.

“No!” I yelled aloud as hot water continued to beat down on my face. All you really want with her is to fuck her, taste her, and make her scream your name, I convinced myself. Fuck, I need to get over her!

I let out a huge sigh as I pounded my fist against the shower tiles. Treat her like an expensive fuck! I needed to get my fill of her and quit her cold turkey. She was my kryptonite and I had to think of her like any other drug. They were addicting, fun and irresistible, but soon the high was over. The greater the high, the greater the fall.

And with Alexis, she was my highest high and, therefore, my lowest low. She had destroyed me, and what made it worse was she hadn’t even confessed yet. I had waited for it all week, but nothing. That drove me crazy. I wanted to exact revenge on her, yet another part of me wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I wasn’t sure why, but the thought that she was even remotely similar to my mother killed me. It was more than I could bear and more than I was able to accept.

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